Ghost of a Future Lost and Regained
by AnAverageGirl15
Summary: Felicity Smoak doesn't believe she can be saved. Oliver Queen does. Sequel to To Win the War One Might Lose a Battle. Part 4 of In Love and War.


**A/N: So here's the last part. I'm really apprehensive about this because I was planning on taking this somewhere else but then the muse decided that it wanted to go down this path. I hope everyone likes this final part and I don't disappoint anyone. Sidenote: _Abouya_ means my father. (Or at least I hope it does.)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

If someone had asked her ten years ago where she thought she would be in ten years, she would have told them she would be the head of the IT department at QC, maybe even patenting some of her own works. She would never have thought that she would become partners with Starling City's vigilante. Felicity most definitely would never have thought that she would become part of one of the most feared sects out there, most believing they were an urban legend. She never thought she would have all the blood she had on her hands. Both figuratively and literally.

Felicity looked down into the tub as she washed the blood from her hands and body, the water turning a coppery red. Four years. It had been four years since her first assassination. Since her second kill. And the number only grew after that. By the end of the second year, she lost count. By the end of the third, she didn't _want_ to remember the count. Somewhere in between then and now, Felicity had lost her soul. She knew who she was and why. She never regretted her decision either.

Felicity knew that Sara couldn't take it anymore. Who she had become, what she was becoming. She needed a new path. A path of redemption. And she couldn't get that being a member of the League. No, Felicity knew that for Sara to be the hero she could be, she needed to stay with her family. She needed to stay home. Sara had Oliver and Felicity knew Oliver could help Sara see that good she still held within her.

Closing her eyes Felicity thought about Oliver. She missed him. She missed the team, her family. Not one day went by that she didn't think about them. She wondered how Roy was doing, if he and Thea were still together. Wondered if John and Lyla ever rekindled the flame they once had. But she was worried about Oliver the most. The last time she had seen him, after she had killed Malcolm so viciously in front of him, she knew that he wasn't alright. She had wanted to reach out to him. The weariness had been evident on his face, a sadness that wasn't there before took up residence in his eyes. But the way he had looked at her, had cut her deeply.

She wanted him to be disgusted at what she had become, to hate the person she was. That would have made it easier to leave and never look back. But he had looked at her with so much happiness. Just the knowledge she was alive, standing in front of him, made something flicker back in him. She could see it. Felicity cursed herself for knowing him so well. She wished she hadn't seen it. She wished he had been repulsed by the blood she had spilled. But he only looked at her with…not love, but something so close it took her breath away. Felicity knew that he had been searching for her ever since then, as well. He had almost found her once. If he had only turned around to look behind him, he would have caught Felicity as she bordered the plane heading back home. But the crowds in the airport were large and Felicity had silently slipped through security. The whole flight home, she had mourned for Oliver and prayed that he would stop looking for her.

Felicity let herself indulge, for just a moment, what it could have been like if she had stayed. To be back with the team, behind her computers but wanting more time in the field. She could have been Oliver's partner in everything. In her dream, they would finally find each other, fall into each other and it would be perfect. A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped at it viciously. Felicity didn't believe in fairy tales. There were no such things as happy endings or true love. The world was harsh and cruel, bad things happened to good people and justice never prevailed. Not unless there was someone there to make sure it happened. She understood now what it meant to live and work in the grey area of justice. She was the judge, jury, and executioner. Felicity _was_ justice.

Stepping out of the shower, Felicity wiped at the steamed mirror before looking down at her shoulder where she had been cut. It wasn't deep, not worthy of stitches, but she knew it would leave a scar. She had lost count of those too. Laughing humorlessly, Felicity placed a bandage on it as she thought back to when she wanted just one scar. Towel drying herself, Felicity stepped out into her bedroom. It wasn't much. Just a small two room apartment with no air conditioning but it had served its purposes as she tracked down her latest target.

Dropping the towel from around her, she slipped on her shirt before pulling her underwear up. She started to brush her hair, sitting down on her bed when she spoke in the darkness, "You're wasting your time. I'm not coming back. Go back home, Sara."

Sara stepped out from the shadows, looking pale and tired. "I'm not here to bring you back. I'm here because I need your help." Felicity looked at her through the corner of her eye, telling her silently to continue. "I need you to help me get Oliver and Diggle back."

The air left her in a rush at Sara's words. "What do you mean 'get back'? What happened with them?"

Sara shook her head as she told her, "We were busting up a drug ring. None of us knew that the triad would be there. The last thing I remember was falling into the river after I was shot. When I woke up I was ten miles away from Starling on some shore. Oliver and Digg were gone. Roy, he tried to save them, but he had to fall back before they could kill him. We know where they're being held, but…" Sara looked up at her, with such sad eyes. "I don't want to ask you this Felicity. I know what being a member of the League does to you. The killing. It chips away at your soul and I don't want to ask that of you. But I need your help. After you died, we all made an oath that we wouldn't kill anymore. No matter what. I'm trying to keep that promise."

Felicity understood what she was asking of her. Standing up, Felicity started to pack her things, before looking at Sara. "I took an oath as well. To bring justice, no matter the cost. Tell me everything."

* * *

Felicity had told herself four years ago that she would never step into Starling again. Now, with Roy and Sara standing behind her, she couldn't help but feel at home again. She reopened that yearning she had boxed away and buried. Wanting to be home with her family. Wanting a family of her own. All those desires she pushed away came flooding back. They centered her, made her focus her anger. Those things were taken from her by the people who thought they could just take it. By people who didn't care who they hurt in the process to get what they wanted. These people would pay for their sins. Without looking back at Sara or Roy, she told them, "Once we get in there, stay behind me until you can get to them safely. Don't fight unless you have to. Leave everyone to me. When you can, get Oliver and Diggle out of there and don't look back."

Roy shook his head as he asked, "What about you?"

She started to move forward toward the ship as she said, "Don't worry about me." She moved with all the stealth she had, sneaking up on the first dozen guards and slitting their throats quietly. Felicity stepped over their bodies, motioning each time for the two to follow her. She knew Sara knew the importance of catching the enemy unaware. They had been trained by the same person. They knew how to use the anger they had in the deadliest of ways. Roy, on the other hand, was taught differently. Felicity knew Oliver had taught him how to control that anger and use it to help others, killing being the last resort. Roy didn't understand the importance of being invisible. Which is why Felicity winced when Roy accidentally kicked a discarded piece of metal piping announcing their location to everyone.

Roy muttered his apologies, the darkness cloaking his remorseful look. But Felicity could hear it. Just like she could hear the three men running their way. She pushed Roy and Sara back against the wall just as gunfire started. Feeling a burn on the side of her arm, Felicity knew that she had been grazed by a bullet. The tang of her blood filled her nostrils, filling her with more anger. Grabbing her daggers, she quietly started to run toward the men who were shooting blindly into the dark hallway. She threw one, hitting one of the men squarely in the chest before she jumped up and grabbed some piping on the ceiling. She swung forward as she wrapped her legs around the second man's neck, twisting her body and hearing the resounding snap. The last gunman directed his gun at her and was about to shoot her, only to have Felicity kick the gun from his hand and then drive her other dagger into his chest.

Bending down, she grabbed both daggers before looking back at Roy and Sara. "Come on, we don't have much time before more come." She started to run then, using speed to her advantage more than stealth. There were five more men running their way from a room Felicity knew her boys were being held in. She threw her dagger through the air, it landing squarely in the man's heart. She used his falling momentum to her advantage, as she grabbed the dagger and then flipped over him, tossing the dagger into the closest person to her before she drew her sword and landed on her feet. She cut off the third man's hand holding the gun before stabbing him through his abdomen. Felicity pulled the sword out as she kicked the fourth one in the chest, knocking him down as the last man fired off three rounds at her. She took one bullet to the shoulder, stumbling back before looking down at the wound.

Rage filled her at being injured, having let the man best her. Sara shouted out to her, running forward to help, but Felicity paid her no heed as she grabbed her sword with both hands and then swiftly brought it down on the man's neck. His body fell to the ground as his head rolled away from it.

Sheathing her sword, Felicity picked up two of the discarded guns before aiming it at the man she had kicked, firing off three rounds into his chest. Guns at her side, she felt blood begin to dribble down her shoulder. Looking back, she saw Roy looking down at the beheaded man in shock. "Remember, once we get inside you get them out. That's your mission." Looking back at the door leading to the rest of the team, Felicity said darkly, "Leave the rest for me."

Although she hadn't been trained with guns, she had taught herself how to properly use them. So, when she entered the room she immediately started firing, killing ten people instantly before she dropped the guns and drew her sword. The sound of the metal being unsheathed could be heard throughout the room as China White and ten more heavily armed men stood between her and Oliver and Diggle.

Felicity's nostrils flared in rage as she saw that Oliver and John where chained up. Their arms pulled above their heads, dried blood on both their faces and new knife wounds scattered across their back and torso. They had tortured them. Her eyes turned back to look at China White, burning with a rage she had forgotten she had. China stepped forward as she asked, "Who are you?"

She felt Sara and Roy come step up behind her as she tightened her grip on her sword. Felicity could see Oliver and Diggle look up her, shock registering first before fight reentered their eyes. Looking back at China, Felicity answered, "I am Al-Adaala." She watched as fear entered China's eyes, smiling behind her cloth mask. "I see you have heard of me. Good."

Felicity attacked without warning, slicing three men down immediately before she grabbed a discarded gun and killed the remaining seven men, leaving only China White standing as Roy and Sara rushed forward to unchain their team members.

China had her daggers out and ready as she told Felicity, "I've heard many things of you. I can see you are not like your friends here. You have no problem killing for the right reason. Come, join me and fight for the winning side."

Felicity could hear the chains rattle as they loosened from Oliver and John. She could even hear Oliver whisper hoarsely, "Felicity." She knew what he was saying in that one word. _You don't have to do it. Just come home._ _Come back home with us, with me._

Felicity's face hardened as she told China coldly, "I fight for justice." With those words, she attacked. Her shoulder wound was making her move slower, as her arm grew weak. She cried out in pain as China slashed her blade down her back before knocking Felicity down on the ground. She could hear a commotion going on by the door leading out from where she had come. Her head turned slightly to see Oliver struggling against Roy, trying to get to her to help. That distraction caused her dearly as she felt a knife pierce through her lower chest. Screaming out in pain, Felicity knocked the other dagger from China's hands before grabbing her sword and stabbing her through her heart.

Rolling over quickly onto all fours, Felicity pulled the dagger from her before pushing up. She could hear Sara and Oliver call out for her, yelling at her to stop, but she pushed forward as she ran through the darkened hallways. She knew they were chasing her, when the sound echoes of feet hitting the floor followed her. Pushing harder, she ran outside, her hand pushed against her abdomen as blood spilled past her fingers. She stumbled slightly as she ran toward the edge of the ship. Her hood fell back as she pushed herself upright again. She was almost at the edge when she heard Oliver yell out, "Felicity! Wait, let us help you."

She stopped at his words, panting heavily as she turned to face them. "No one can help me, Oliver." She took a step back, her heel hanging off the edge of the ship. "I'm already dead." With that she let herself drop off the edge, all four of her old teammates screaming out at her. Felicity's arm reached out as she grabbed the anchor's chain, stopping her decent shortly before she let go and fell the final few feet before she ran toward her waiting motorcycle. She could see in the side mirror that Oliver, Sara, Roy, and Diggle were watching as she drove away.

She drove quickly to her secluded hideout, letting the bike fall on its side as she stumbled toward her bags. Working as fast as she could, she opened her jacket and looked at her wound. Leaning her head back, she bit back a groan of pain before she started to prepare her needle and stitches. Her breathing became rough and unsteady as she tied the last one off, before she quickly placed a bandage on her gunshot wound, wrapping it as tightly as she could. She would have to wait until she got home for her back to get looked at. _If_ she got home.

Felicity pushed herself up on shaky legs, taking out a loose shirt from her bag and slipping it on before she went to strap on her bag to the back of her bike. The drive to the airport proved the most difficult yet. Felicity kept shaking her head as a sweat broke out across her forehead. She knew she was probably bleeding internally. Just like she knew it would be best for her to go to the Foundry and ask for help. But she couldn't. Her mission was completed. Justice had been served and her boys were safe once again.

Felicity didn't remember how she got through the security check points or when she got on the plane. All she knew was that one hour after saving Oliver, she was flying back home. She feared though, that at the rate she was deteriorating she wouldn't even make it there. Felicity dozed in and out of sleep the remainder of the flight, only finally being woken when a stewardess shook her gently. "Ma'am, we've landed." Upon seeing how pale and ill Felicity looked, she asked, "Do you need help with anything?"

Shaking her head, Felicity pushed herself up, wincing when her wounds were aggravated. She began her trek toward her home, catching a ride on the local bus. It dropped her off at the edge of the mountain. Felicity looked up at her home for the past seven years and felt tears prick at her eyes. She might miss Starling, but she loved Nanda Parbat. Taking in a shuddering breath Felicity began her trek up the mountain. She wrapped her coat around her tightly as shivers started to take over her body, causing her to stumble every few minutes. She cried out when she stumbled again, feeling her stitches opening and blood starting to soak her shirt. She fell down then, not being able to catch herself. Felicity tried to push herself up, but her body was too weak from the blood loss. As her eyes slid shut, Felicity went back to when she first met Oliver. She thought of his smile and his voice. This time, when she was going to die, she wanted Oliver's smile to be the last thing she saw.

* * *

She woke to hands shaking her. She felt a pressure at her abdomen and then two hands cupping her face. Felicity cracked her eyes open slightly, only making out two blurry blobs hovering over her. She recognized their voices, but she couldn't remember who they belonged to. And then she felt weightless. Her head lulled into something warm and safe. Breathing in, Felicity smiled as she smelt Oliver. The last thing she thought of before she fell unconscious again was that _that_ was a happy smell to die to.

The next time she woke was to shouts coming from everywhere. Whatever, or whoever, was holding her was shouting the most. Gripping her more tightly when someone tried to take her, growling when someone got to close. And then a silencing shout went out, making even the air around her still and she knew she would be safe when a hand fell on her head and soft, deep voice starting speaking.

When she woke next it was to the feeling of a wet cloth on her forehead and a soft mattress beneath her. Her eyes slowly opened to see that she was in her bedroom, candles lighting the dark room as Ra's gently wiped at her brow. "Abouya?"

Ra's smiled down at her softly as he shushed her. "Al-Adaala, don't speak. Rest. You are still recovering from your last battle." He gently started to clean at her wounds, starting with her shoulder.

She winced ever so slightly when she moved too quickly, pulling at her stitches on her back. "How'd I get here?"

Ra's dipped the cloth back in the medicinal water before he started cleaning her abdomen wound. "Attiyara Al-Asfer and your other friend, Oliver, brought you here."

Felicity's brow furrowed as she tried to remember everything that had happened. "How…how did they even find me?"

Ra's motioned for her to roll onto her side, wanting to clean her back. "Attiyara Al-Asfer. She knew you would tried to come back home. They found you on the side of the mountain and Oliver carried you the rest of the way up. He is very anxious to see you."

Felicity turned slightly to look at Ra's. "He's still here? But, I thought…"

Ra's again smiled down at her as he showed her his love for her. "My daughter, he brought you back to us. If they had found you any later we would be in mourning right now, searching for vengeance on the one who did this. For that, I am in his debt." Standing, he brushed her hair back behind her ear as he told her, "Rest for now, Al-Adaala." Felicity nodded, her eyes growing heavy with weariness.

The sound of someone moving in her room woke her up next. Looking outside her window, she saw it was night, the stars painting the night sky. She looked around her room to find that someone had been sleeping in her chair. Pushing herself up a little in bed, she watched as Oliver walked out of her bathroom. Her heart stuttered, wondering if this was all a dream, until he saw she was awake.

His blue eyes bore into her, touching a soul she didn't know she still had. Felicity felt tears form in her eyes as she watched Oliver slowly walk toward her, sitting at the edge of her bed. His breathing was coming out in bursts as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. She leaned into his touch, her eyes sliding shut as a stray tear trailed down her cheek. "Oliver."

She felt his forehead lean against hers, his nose gently nuzzling hers before his lips brushed hers softly. He whispered her name then, the same way he always did. Saying so much more than just her name. "Felicity." _I thought I lost you. _"Felicity." _I thought I'd never see you again._ "Felicity." _I need you._

The next soft kiss he placed on her lips chastely, she slanted her mouth over his, letting her tongue trace his bottom lip. He moaned in approval, opening his mouth to her. She gripped his hair with her good hand as their tongues touched for the first time. Felicity's toes curled as she felt Oliver's stubble roughly scratch her chin. However, she was pulled back to her world when she heard the sound of the gong signifying it was midnight. Leaning her forehead against Oliver's, Felicity shook her head slightly. "We can't do this."

Oliver nudged her nose with his as he asked softly, "Why not?"

Pulling back all the way, Felicity swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Because it's not right. I'm not the same person I once was, Oliver." Looking out her window she spoke softly, "I'm not the person you remember. She died with Slade." Looking back at Oliver, Felicity told him, "I have murdered, I've _slaughtered _people. I'm scarred and damaged more than I thought possible. I've done things that only someone with no soul can do. I'm not blinded by my naiveté anymore, Oliver. There are bad people out there that can only be stopped one way." Cupping his cheek, Felicity let her fingers rub through his stubble. "What you are doing back in Starling is wonderful. But sometimes it's not enough. That's why I'm here. When I first arrived here, Ra's asked me once when I was training what I wanted. I told him I wanted justice. That's why they call me Al-Adaala. I am justice." She let her hand fall from his face, telling him, "You're going to go back to Starling and be the hero I knew you always could be. And I'm going to stay here. That's why we can't do this."

She was about to stand to walk toward the window, but Oliver's hand stayed her. "Felicity." When she didn't look at him, his finger lifted to tuck under her chin, gently nudging her to look at him. His hand moved to cup the back of her head, his fingers massaging her scalp slowly. "When I came back from the island, I had one goal. Bring down those who had poisoned my city. I wanted to take down all those names on that list. I wanted justice, whatever the cost. Even if it meant my life. Then I met you." Oliver smiled softly and Felicity had to close her eyes briefly because it was her smile. She looked at him again when he spoke softly, "You showed me that there could be another way besides killing. You stayed by my side and became the heart of our team. And after the Undertaking and Tommy's death, you were always there even when I wasn't. You helped me become the hero I am today. You accepted all of me. My scars, my unknown past, and my damaged soul. You were my redemption. So let me be yours. Let me show you that you are still the good person I know. That I love." Oliver laughed softly at his admission. "Because I love you, Felicity. I didn't realize it until it was too late. Until I thought I lost you. I'm not making that mistake again. I'm not going to lose you again."

Felicity wrapped her hand around his wrist, squeezing it softly at his words. Oliver thought she was accepting his help until he watched her stand and take a step back from him, physically distancing herself. She whispered sorrowfully, "I can't be saved Oliver. I'm sorry. You have to go."

Oliver stood then, his jaw clenching as he shook his head. "I'm not leaving without you, Felicity. I…" Shaking his head again, Oliver started to head toward the door only stopping when his hand was on the handle. "I won't stop fighting for you. I will always try to save you, even when you think you can't be." Oliver left with those final words, closing the door quietly behind him. Felicity felt her knees give out as she sank to the ground, sobs wracking her body. She felt the pull of her stitches and welcomed the pain, wanting it to drown out the ache in her heart.

* * *

Felicity didn't let anyone else in her room the whole next day, even turning down Ra's. She had been playing her conversation with Oliver over and over in her head, his words breaking through the wall she built around her heart each time. She wanted what he was saying to be true. She wanted to see what he saw. And she laughed at the irony of their roles being reversed now.

Shaking her head, Felicity pulled the light cotton shirt she was wearing off and started to move toward the bathroom. She sighed once the hot water hit her aching muscles, feeling the steam wrap itself around her. Her hand brushed against her stab wound, happy to see that the paste she had made was healing her injuries faster than normal. Felicity let her mind wander as she continued to clean herself. She thought about the future. What would happen if she left with Oliver. Could he save her like he said she had done for him? Could they finally be happy, together? With each question she asked herself, a little bit of her wall she built long ago started to crumble, showing the shattered woman within. She wanted to be good and pure again. Wanted to have her innocence back. She wanted to see the good in people again.

Felicity knew though, that that wasn't possible. Her innocence was taken from her the moment Slade threatened her family. The good person she was died when she killed Malcolm Merlyn. The pureness of her heart was banished when she finally accepted who she was. She was a murderer, an assassin. There was no going back from where she was. And Felicity knew in her heart that Ra's would never let her go. She was almost as precious as Nyssa was to him. He treated her like a daughter and that little girl inside of Felicity _wanted_ that. She had formed a new family within the League. So she knew that if she were ever going to leave, she would not be alive.

Stepping out of the shower, Felicity towel dried herself before heading back toward her bed. She stopped when she saw Oliver leaning against the windowsill, looking out at the night sky. Half his face was shrouded in the shadows, reminding her of his two lives. Oliver Queen, reformed playboy turned CEO of Queen Consolidated and Oliver Queen, hero to Starling City. The good and the better. He was always a good man, with a big heart. Just like now. Felicity let her eyes slide shut, trying to stave off her tears. She knew Oliver would always try to save her, just like she knew he would die trying to as well. She couldn't let that happen. "You shouldn't be here."

Oliver turned to look at her. "If you want me to, I'll leave."

Felicity opened her mouth, readying to tell him to leave, but no words came. Because she didn't want him to leave. Her heart had been awakened again. It was burning for something good to touch it, to banish all the bad things she had done. She wanted Oliver to show her the way to her redemption. She took a step forward as she hesitantly said, "I cannot leave here without Ra's killing me. He might love me, but that does not mean he will not do what is necessary."

Oliver stayed rooted in his spot, not wanting to spook Felicity. "We'll figure out a way."

Felicity continued to walk toward him slowly. "This won't be easy. What you want to do for me, to help me, to save me."

Oliver smiled down softly at her. "I've never liked easy."

Felicity was only a few feet away now, clutching the towel around her. "If we do leave together, what happens then?"

Oliver shook his head as he told her honestly, "I don't know." He took the final step forward, brushing a wet lock behind her ear as he said softly, "What I do know is that you'll finally be where you belong."

Felicity looked up at him, lips parting slightly as she asked, "Where's that?"

His hand slid to cup the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. "Home."

Felicity felt tears form once again at his words. _Home_. Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, Felicity pulled Oliver down, her mouth slanting over his. She felt Oliver's hand wrap around her back, it splaying against bare skin as the other tightened its hold in her hair. Letting go of the towel, her other hand slid underneath Oliver's shirt, tugging it up as she went.

She made of noise of discontent when his hands left her to pull his shirt off, only for it to turn into a moan of pleasure when Oliver pulled her back to him, kissing her deeply as he lifted her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he started to walk them to her bed. As he lowered her to lie down, following her as he went, Felicity raked her nails down his back, smiling as Oliver growled deep in his chest. His kisses moved south, slowly making it way down her neck to her shoulder and then the valley between her breasts. When he suddenly bit down on her breast, Felicity couldn't stop from arching her back and rocking her hips down onto Oliver's hardened length. "Oliver."

She loved the feel of his stubble scratching against her delicate skin as he continued to lave her breast. His mouth moved to the other breast as his hand traveled down her abdomen. Her muscles clenched in anticipation as his fingers slid along her slit before pushing two fingers inside of her. Her grip on his back tightened, leaving small crescent marks from her nails. She gasped as pleasure surrounded her, her pelvis rocking down, urging Oliver to go faster.

He curled his fingers inside her, hitting the perfect spot before he gently scraped his nail across her clit. Crying out in pleasure, Felicity's back arched as her inner muscles clenched around his fingers. Grabbing his face, she drew him up to kiss him hungrily as his fingers continued to move inside her. She broke the kiss with a gasp as he added a third finger.

His forehead rested against hers as she panted out, "Oliver, please." Oliver curled his finger and twisted slightly as his thumb pressed down on her over-sensitive bundle of nerves, pushing Felicity over the edge. His name left her lips in a shout as her orgasm took over her. As she came down from her high, she felt Oliver stand up briefly before he was hovering over her again nestled between her legs.

Blinking slowly, Felicity looked up at Oliver as he brushed her hair from her face. She smiled at him, letting her foot slide up the inside of his leg as she felt his arousal pressing right where she wanted him. His head dipped forward, letting his nose nuzzle hers before he kissed her. It started out slow, their hands entwining next to her head, growing deeper with each kiss. Her other leg slid up, her heel pushing against Oliver's ass, urging him closer. Pulling away from the kiss, Oliver silently asked for permission once more, making sure this is what she wanted. Biting her bottom lip, Felicity canted her pelvis up slightly, moaning loudly when his hard length rubbed against her clit. His grip tightened around her hands as he groaned, his hips jerking forward slightly. He was pushing into her then, watching as her mouth fell open, forming a silent o.

When he was buried to the hilt, they both sighed at the sensation. Felicity didn't realize she was crying until Oliver started to brush and kiss away her tears. She wasn't sad. She was the opposite of sad. She felt whole again. She was home. Clenching her muscles, Felicity urged Oliver to start moving. Slowly, he drew back before slamming into her again, making her feel things she never felt before. "Harder." He bit down on her shoulder as his thrusts grew harder, moving her leg higher on his hip so he hit the perfect spot. The words tumbled from her mouth without her permission as Felicity confessed, "You're my home. You're it." He stuttered in his movements briefly before his thrusts became frenzied. Their movements grew faster and harder as she met him for each thrust, hearing as her bed hit the wall behind it each time. When his hand moved between them and pressed down once more on her clit, she didn't stand a chance. Her orgasm ripped through her as she came with a shout, Oliver following her a few thrusts later. He sagged on top of her, his weight welcomed.

As they both tried to bring their breathing back to normal, Oliver's breath hitting her hair, Felicity softly ran her fingers up and down his back. She smoothed out the beads of sweat that had formed, letting her fingers trace the scars she was never allowed to touch like this before. Exhaustion started to take over her body, her eyes growing heavy. The last thing she felt before she fell asleep was Oliver sliding out of her and settling down next to her, his hands drawing her into his chest.

She awoke to Oliver tracing patterns on her back and side. Smiling sleepily at him, she let her eyes slowly open. Sun was streaming through her window, letting her know it was morning. "Good morning."

Oliver's palm slid up the curve of her waist before sliding to rest in the middle of her back as he leaned down and kissed her softly. "Good morning." Humming into the kiss, Felicity moved them so that Oliver was lying on his back as she straddled him. Pushing back up, her hands rested on his shoulders as his fell to her waist.

Felicity brought her hand up to trace his brow as she whispered, "You look happy."

The smile he gave her took her breath away as he said, "I am. I have you. Nothing could make me happier." Her fingers stopped briefly, before she continued to gently trace his forehead. She couldn't hide the sadness that filled her eyes though. Oliver saw it and grabbed her hand. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Shaking her head, she smiled at him. "Nothing." Moving off of him, she started to walk toward the bathroom. "If we are going to leave, I have to get ready. You should let Sara know. I'll meet you both outside in the courtyard in an hour."

Oliver stopped her from entering the bathroom though, tugging her into his chest. She looked up at him as he told her softly, "Everything will be fine."

Leaning up, she kissed him gently. "I know." She couldn't help but think she had just kissed him for the last time.

* * *

She met her friends an hour later. Felicity had told Oliver that she would handle Ra's, that if anyone could talk with him into releasing her, she would be the only one. They were standing in the courtyard toward the entrance. Felicity smiled at Oliver before turning to Ra's. Walking toward him, with Sara and Oliver behind her, Felicity rallied her courage. Ra's smiled at her gently before he told her, "Goodbyes are always the hardest. We will give you three as much time as you need."

Felicity looked down at the dagger Ra's had given her before she had gone off to kill Merlyn. Looking back up she told him, "That won't be necessary."

Nyssa stepped forward and tried to stop Felicity. "Al-Adaala, don't do this."

Shaking her head, Felicity continued to look at Ra's. "You have given me so much, Abouya. I will always be thankful for you taking me in and making me the woman I am today. But I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, but I have to leave."

Ra's face showed no emotion as he told her, "There is only one way you leave here."

Felicity nodded, bringing her hands up to give him her dagger. "I know. Just promise me one last thing. Don't hurt them. This was my choice. Let them go afterward." Felicity heard Oliver call out her name and looked back at him. She could see the confusion on his face as Sara started to shake her head, telling her not to do it. Tears blurred her vision as she turned back to look at Ra's. "Promise me."

Ra's took the dagger with one hand as he used the other to draw Felicity in close to him, hugging her tightly. He whispered to her in a pained voice. "I promise." He then gripped the dagger's handle and spoke so everyone could hear him, "I, Ra's al Ghul, release you, Al-Adaala."

Felicity gasped in pain as she felt the dagger blade be pushed into her abdomen. He gripped her neck as he began lowering her to the ground, whispering a pray. She could hear Oliver's scream as he ran toward them. He scooped her up into his lap, pressing his hand against her wound. "Damn it, Felicity. Don't you dare leave me. Not again."

Gripping his hand, she told him softly, "Take me out of here, Oliver. Take me home. I want to go home."

Sara was by their side, urging Oliver to stand up. "Come on, Ollie. Let's get her out of here."

Wrapping one under her knees, Oliver lifted Felicity up with him, following Sara out of Nanda Parbat and into the mountains. He watched as Felicity's breathing grew shallow and labored with each step. Felicity looked up at him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Oliver shook his head, leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm not losing you. I can't."

Just then they heard someone yell, "Attiyara Al-Asfer, wait!" Stopping, Sara turned around to see Nyssa running toward them. Oliver tightened his hold on Felicity as she stopped in front of them. "I can heal her. Follow me."

She was then running at a fast pace up to the side of the mountain. Not knowing if he could trust her or not, but knowing there was no other option in saving Felicity, Oliver started to run after Nyssa with Sara by his side. Looking down, he saw that Felicity had become unconscious. Running a little faster, Oliver followed Nyssa as she led them into a hidden alcove, before she made a sharp right and entered a cave. "Hurry, we haven't got much time."

Oliver and Sara entered the cave to find a small pool of water. Oliver stopped as Sara gasped slightly and said, "This is Lazarus Pit."

Nyssa was dipping a cloth into the water as she motioned to Oliver. "Set her down here and lift her shirt."

Oliver did as she told him, gently lowering her head to rest against his legs. "Why are you doing this, Nyssa?"

Crouching down at Felicity's side, she answered, "Because she does not deserve to die." Nyssa then began to wipe at Felicity's wound with gentle strokes.

Sara crouched on the other side of Felicity, looking at Nyssa as she said, "I thought the pit could only be used be someone once. How is this going to work?"

Nyssa brushed Felicity's hair back from her face, wiping at the sweat on her brow. "You are right. When my father first found it, the powers it held could only be used once. However, I've found a way for it to be used many times." Looking at Sara she said, "How do you think her other wounds healed so quickly?"

All three continued to watch as Felicity's breathing grew shallower. Oliver was afraid the water wouldn't work until he saw her wound start to heal before his eyes. Felicity's eyes fluttered open once, before closing again as she groaned. Nyssa smiled lovingly at her as she spoke to Oliver and Sara, "I love my father, but I also love Al-Adaala. She is like a sister and I could not let her die." Looking at Oliver she told him, "Take care of her."

Oliver nodded once as he held Felicity closer to him, "I will."

Standing up, Nyssa hugged Sara goodbye before telling them, "She will be weak but you should be able to make the trek down." She turned to leave, walking to the mouth of the cave, before looking back. "Tell her she will always have a home here." With that, Nyssa left. Oliver looked back down at Felicity as she started to slowly come back to them.

Her eyes slowly opened and Oliver couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his face. "Oliver?" Leaning down, he kissed her softly before pulling away as she asked, "How?"

Sara smiled at her as she said, "Nyssa saved you."

Helping her sit up, Felicity looked around at the cave, before turning her confused expression on them. "Why?"

Oliver helped her stand up. Wrapping his arms around her in a hug, he kissed the top of her head as he said, "I'll explain later. Let's just go home."

With her arms wrapped around Oliver, Felicity had many more questions. But as she took in a deep breath, Oliver's scent filled her soul and warmed her to her bones. Burying her head in his chest, Felicity nodded once. She knew that the journey ahead of her was long with many obstacles, but she also knew that with Oliver by her side, she could overcome them. Looking up at Oliver, she smiled. "Okay. Let's go home."


End file.
